[ The tarte tatin that Vanitas made is the last step of the reconcilation after their fight back in the amusement park. To be fair, Noé never felt like he has to forgive Vanitas for anything he did. They both messed up and they both had their personal reasons for doing so, it's as simple as that to the vampire. Thankfully, they both came to before someone got hurt.
If Vanitas thinks that he owes him something still which is something that occurs to Noé late in te evening, he wants to dispel that false idea and reassure his companion that nothing else needs to be done apart from simply moving on.
Still... Vanitas' words about wanting Noé to be the one to kill him weigh on is conscience and there's so little he can do to change that. The vampire is still processing these words internally and pays attention to every single thought that emerges.
He might fail Vanitas the same way he failed Louis, after all. Shouldn't Vanitas know that he might not follow through when the time comes? Perhaps he should choose someone else for that task, even if the thought upsets Noé.
Actually, it's vexing not because someone else might do it. Noé just doesn't want to see Vanitas get killed. The feeling of dread fills his chest and makes him sit up on the bed, looking around the dark room to confirm if Vanitas is in his own bed. ]
Vanitas? Are you asleep?
[ He might as well not be here at all considering his preference for spending the nights on the rooftops, but maybe for once he is resting properly. If not, Noé will drag him back here, that's for sure. ]
[ The tarte tatin was a silent plea for forgiveness, but Vanitas still doesn't feel like it'd be enough. He could have poured his heart and soul into anything and it would never be sufficient for him. The bitter taste of his betrayal will linger on his tongue for many more days, though that fact alone is surprising. That he cares so much about Noé Archiviste is still something he's trying to come to terms with. Perhaps that's one good thing that came of their fight – he can finally acknowledge Noé as his...friend? Comrade? Or...
...He's not sure what word to use. He just knows the vampire is important. That knowledge is the only thing that stopped him from slitting his partner's throat, after all, and what made Vanitas ultimately decide that he will choose death by Noé's hand and Noé's hand only. He refuses to die until then.
They have the rest of the night to recover, at least. Vanitas in particular waits for the other man to settle in first, and when he thinks his partner in crime is asleep, he enters and lays down on his side with his back towards Noé's corner of the room. His blankets are a little higher up than usual. He's having trouble sleeping, though, but he's quiet as he tries to keep an ear out for the sound of Noé's breathing. He's so attuned to it by now that he can tell when the other is asleep.
Likewise, Vanitas can tell when the other is still awake, which is why Noé's question doesn't surprise him. He doesn't turn towards him, but he will reply: ]
No.
[ There's a quiet moment before he responds, in a softer tone than he would've used otherwise. It's hard to put his walls back up, considering everything that's happened. ]
[ The pause between Vanitas' question and his own response is much longer than Noé would have liked it to be. The past hour of mulling over what Vanitas had said didn't really prepare him for this moment, it seems. Nonetheless, leaving him hanging like that without saying anything and brushing it off doesn't sound like a viable option either.
Noé takes a deep breath hoping that once he puts it into words, it'll be at least a bit easier to convey his feelings and worries. ]
Your request... I might not be able to do it. [ The vampire is so grateful that it's been just a few hours, so he doesn't even have to explain what kind of request this is. ] It probably sounds strange, but I speak from experience. When the time comes, I might just freeze. That's why... maybe you should find someone more reliable.
[ Noé winces in the darkness of the room, finding reliable really unfitting for this kind of task. Honestly, even though he might have realized it yet, he can't just come to terms with Vanitas dying. ]
[ It's not. Inevitably, this would have come up again, and Vanitas would have prodded Noe for answer anyway if he hadn't said anything. He's expecting something sentimental again, something that he's unsure if he'll be able to handle more of because that's just who he is, but Noe brings up the request.
He's quiet, too, as he lets this sink in. Somehow, this both moves him and stings in a way he can't quite describe. It feels like Noe is refusing him of something he wants, because he's going to die soon, and when he does, he wants it to be by the hands of someone he...
...trusts. Yes. He trusts Noe. That is indisputable, at this point. He shifts a little in his bed, and when he speaks next, his voice is quieter but no less serious: ]
You don't understand. [ But then again, Vanitas doesn't quite understand him, either. ] There is no one else who can do this.
[ After a moment, he sits up and puts his hands in his lap. ]
I understand that it's a big ask, but I can't entrust this to just anyone, Noe. [ ... ] It has to be you.
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destinyland2023-03-12 11:17 am
no subject
If Vanitas thinks that he owes him something still which is something that occurs to Noé late in te evening, he wants to dispel that false idea and reassure his companion that nothing else needs to be done apart from simply moving on.
Still... Vanitas' words about wanting Noé to be the one to kill him weigh on is conscience and there's so little he can do to change that. The vampire is still processing these words internally and pays attention to every single thought that emerges.
He might fail Vanitas the same way he failed Louis, after all. Shouldn't Vanitas know that he might not follow through when the time comes? Perhaps he should choose someone else for that task, even if the thought upsets Noé.
Actually, it's vexing not because someone else might do it. Noé just doesn't want to see Vanitas get killed. The feeling of dread fills his chest and makes him sit up on the bed, looking around the dark room to confirm if Vanitas is in his own bed. ]
Vanitas? Are you asleep?
[ He might as well not be here at all considering his preference for spending the nights on the rooftops, but maybe for once he is resting properly. If not, Noé will drag him back here, that's for sure. ]
no subject
...He's not sure what word to use. He just knows the vampire is important. That knowledge is the only thing that stopped him from slitting his partner's throat, after all, and what made Vanitas ultimately decide that he will choose death by Noé's hand and Noé's hand only. He refuses to die until then.
They have the rest of the night to recover, at least. Vanitas in particular waits for the other man to settle in first, and when he thinks his partner in crime is asleep, he enters and lays down on his side with his back towards Noé's corner of the room. His blankets are a little higher up than usual. He's having trouble sleeping, though, but he's quiet as he tries to keep an ear out for the sound of Noé's breathing. He's so attuned to it by now that he can tell when the other is asleep.
Likewise, Vanitas can tell when the other is still awake, which is why Noé's question doesn't surprise him. He doesn't turn towards him, but he will reply: ]
No.
[ There's a quiet moment before he responds, in a softer tone than he would've used otherwise. It's hard to put his walls back up, considering everything that's happened. ]
What is it?
no subject
Noé takes a deep breath hoping that once he puts it into words, it'll be at least a bit easier to convey his feelings and worries. ]
Your request... I might not be able to do it. [ The vampire is so grateful that it's been just a few hours, so he doesn't even have to explain what kind of request this is. ] It probably sounds strange, but I speak from experience. When the time comes, I might just freeze. That's why... maybe you should find someone more reliable.
[ Noé winces in the darkness of the room, finding reliable really unfitting for this kind of task. Honestly, even though he might have realized it yet, he can't just come to terms with Vanitas dying. ]
dreamwidth why.
He's quiet, too, as he lets this sink in. Somehow, this both moves him and stings in a way he can't quite describe. It feels like Noe is refusing him of something he wants, because he's going to die soon, and when he does, he wants it to be by the hands of someone he...
...trusts. Yes. He trusts Noe. That is indisputable, at this point. He shifts a little in his bed, and when he speaks next, his voice is quieter but no less serious: ]
You don't understand. [ But then again, Vanitas doesn't quite understand him, either. ] There is no one else who can do this.
[ After a moment, he sits up and puts his hands in his lap. ]
I understand that it's a big ask, but I can't entrust this to just anyone, Noe. [ ... ] It has to be you.