[ The atmosphere in the room feels so heavy that Akira can't help but rest his hand on the back of one of the chairs, feeling slightly dizzy after everything he has learned and heard from Goro. It's way too much to take at once and yet, Akechi demands an answer right here and right now.
Do you think I'd be happy with this?
Akira takes a deep breath. It might seem like he's stalling for time, but that couldn't be further from the truth. There are only two options and the choice is his to make, even though if Goro's reaction is anything to go by, there's only one correct answer. Actually, Akira knows pretty well what he is supposed to say. It also aligns with what he is going to say, but the gravity of the situation makes it difficult to say anything.
Your indecisiveness on the matter is essentially a betrayal of my wishes.
Ironically, Akechi couldn't be more wrong about the matter. Beating Maruki and leaving this reality created so meticulously is a given. There's something else Akira is struggling with. Should he tell Goro about his feelings or should he keep them to himself forever? It's going to hurt either way, but if he can at least spare Akechi the pain, he'd rather do that. There's no point in making it harder than it already is.
What do you intend to do?
This is where he's left him hanging, perhaps for far too long for Akechi's liking because he repeats the demand again. ]
We're stopping Maruki. [ Before Goro responds, he adds in a haste: ] But... you have to stay here with me.
[ His own voice feels somewhat strange, like it doesn't belong to him in te first place. This truly might not be the best moment to dictate what to do, but if there's one thing Akira wants, it's to have Akechi by his side even just for a little while longer. ]
did i say the next day? i obviously meant the next week. sorry for being so slow!!
[The confrontation hadn't gone as smoothly as Akechi would have wanted. There had been a reason why he had decided to keep the truth about himself as a secret from the others. He knew that hearing that would make Akira to waver, to second guess their choice to challenge Maruki and bring this sorry excuse for an utopia to end. Akira had always been so soft with that bleeding heart of his. Always showing mercy to everyone around him. Always wanting to save others.
Even someone like him.
How sickening.
But now that the cat is out of the bag (both figuratively and literally) the only thing he can do is keep pressing on. He needs to be aggressive with his words, not giving him any chance to second guess his decision. He needs this. To hear that his resolve is not compromised -- that he still intends to follow through their promise.
There is no painless solution for either of them. Maruki made sure of that when he brought him back, knowing very well that Akechi would never accept this reality. Only exist as a temptation for Akira submit and give in. So, in the end he was nothing but a pawn in his masterplan. It's just like with Shido.
'We're stopping Maruki'. A wave of relief washes through his body as the words leave from Akira's lips, the tension escaping from his shoulders. However, just as he's about to turn around and make his leave Akira continues... And that catches him off the guard. His eyes widen for a bit before lowering his gaze, brows knitted in a frown and lips drawn back into a thin line.
[ Akira isn't sure if it's just his imagination or Goro really wanted to just leave after making sure that the answer is satisfying. Nonetheless, it seems that his words have managed to stop him, even if Akira can easily tell that he's annoyed.
If Akira's indecisiveness is a betrayal of Goro's wishes, then seeing this kind of a reaction to his request feels like a sharp knife piercing through his heart. The question only makes it hurt more, but not as much as the thought that follows—his time with Goro is limited. ]
I'm not trying to solve anything here. [ His voice is weak, too weak for his liking. Such a vulnerability might be used against him if he knows a thing about his rival. Without thinking, Akira wraps his fingers around Akechi's wrist. For some reason, it feels like if he didn't do that, Goro would just disappear. ] I want you to live the way you want. Live.
[ Maruki knew what he was doing all along. Akira should feel more upset and angry, but instead he just feels dull pain in his chest. ]
Stay with me... just this once. [ He takes a deep breath. ] Just for tonight.
[They are running out of time indeed. In less than 24 hours they are going to defeat Maruki, end this ridiculous utopia of his and return back to their own reality and then.. Well, they both know what that truly means now.
He looks down at Akira's hand, the fingers curled around his wrist. He can sense the heavy and complex meaning behind such seemingly simple gesture. It makes him take a deep breathe in, tension growing back to his shoulders. This sentimentality is exactly what he wanted to avoid. They don't need, or even should, to pry open what has been left unsaid so far.]
I've lived already. [He eventually hisses out and pulls his hand away from Akira, rejecting the touch.
He's lived alright. It might not have been a nice one with the best choices but it had been his. All his crimes, mistakes, achievements and whatnot. They were all proof of the life he had led and he absolutely refuses to let anyone to take it away from him.]
Why? [He asks again.] Do you even know what you're asking of me?
[ That single "I've lived already" is enough to tear his heart apart. Rather than focusing on the fact that perhaps Goro doesn't see him that way, it crushes him to hear that Akechi has already given up on his future. Akira presses his lips together, mustering up the strength to reach for his hand again despite the rejection. This time, he doesn't just grasp Goro's wrist, but makes an attempt to lace their fingers together. ]
I can't agree with what you said... but that's not anything new, is it? [ A weak chuckle slips past his lips and a heavy sigh follows right after. ] I know what I'm asking for. If you don't want to because you don't feel that way, it's a different thing. But I need to hear it.
[ For some reason, it's difficult to imagine letting go of Akechi even after a blunt rejection. Not that he'd force himself on him—Akira just wants someone to be here with him at least tonight, even if they end up just sitting in silence. ]
I... love you. [ His heart is hammering in his chest and he squeezes Akechi's hand a bit harder. ] I'm not saying that lightly. I mean it, I really do. Now it's your turn.
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2/2
Do you think I'd be happy with this?
Akira takes a deep breath. It might seem like he's stalling for time, but that couldn't be further from the truth. There are only two options and the choice is his to make, even though if Goro's reaction is anything to go by, there's only one correct answer. Actually, Akira knows pretty well what he is supposed to say. It also aligns with what he is going to say, but the gravity of the situation makes it difficult to say anything.
Your indecisiveness on the matter is essentially a betrayal of my wishes.
Ironically, Akechi couldn't be more wrong about the matter. Beating Maruki and leaving this reality created so meticulously is a given. There's something else Akira is struggling with. Should he tell Goro about his feelings or should he keep them to himself forever? It's going to hurt either way, but if he can at least spare Akechi the pain, he'd rather do that. There's no point in making it harder than it already is.
What do you intend to do?
This is where he's left him hanging, perhaps for far too long for Akechi's liking because he repeats the demand again. ]
We're stopping Maruki. [ Before Goro responds, he adds in a haste: ] But... you have to stay here with me.
[ His own voice feels somewhat strange, like it doesn't belong to him in te first place. This truly might not be the best moment to dictate what to do, but if there's one thing Akira wants, it's to have Akechi by his side even just for a little while longer. ]
did i say the next day? i obviously meant the next week. sorry for being so slow!!
Even someone like him.
How sickening.
But now that the cat is out of the bag (both figuratively and literally) the only thing he can do is keep pressing on. He needs to be aggressive with his words, not giving him any chance to second guess his decision. He needs this. To hear that his resolve is not compromised -- that he still intends to follow through their promise.
There is no painless solution for either of them. Maruki made sure of that when he brought him back, knowing very well that Akechi would never accept this reality. Only exist as a temptation for Akira submit and give in. So, in the end he was nothing but a pawn in his masterplan. It's just like with Shido.
'We're stopping Maruki'. A wave of relief washes through his body as the words leave from Akira's lips, the tension escaping from his shoulders. However, just as he's about to turn around and make his leave Akira continues... And that catches him off the guard. His eyes widen for a bit before lowering his gaze, brows knitted in a frown and lips drawn back into a thin line.
Idiot.]
What do you think that'll solve?
no worries about speed!! 💕
If Akira's indecisiveness is a betrayal of Goro's wishes, then seeing this kind of a reaction to his request feels like a sharp knife piercing through his heart. The question only makes it hurt more, but not as much as the thought that follows—his time with Goro is limited. ]
I'm not trying to solve anything here. [ His voice is weak, too weak for his liking. Such a vulnerability might be used against him if he knows a thing about his rival. Without thinking, Akira wraps his fingers around Akechi's wrist. For some reason, it feels like if he didn't do that, Goro would just disappear. ] I want you to live the way you want. Live.
[ Maruki knew what he was doing all along. Akira should feel more upset and angry, but instead he just feels dull pain in his chest. ]
Stay with me... just this once. [ He takes a deep breath. ] Just for tonight.
no subject
He looks down at Akira's hand, the fingers curled around his wrist. He can sense the heavy and complex meaning behind such seemingly simple gesture. It makes him take a deep breathe in, tension growing back to his shoulders. This sentimentality is exactly what he wanted to avoid. They don't need, or even should, to pry open what has been left unsaid so far.]
I've lived already. [He eventually hisses out and pulls his hand away from Akira, rejecting the touch.
He's lived alright. It might not have been a nice one with the best choices but it had been his. All his crimes, mistakes, achievements and whatnot. They were all proof of the life he had led and he absolutely refuses to let anyone to take it away from him.]
Why? [He asks again.] Do you even know what you're asking of me?
no subject
I can't agree with what you said... but that's not anything new, is it? [ A weak chuckle slips past his lips and a heavy sigh follows right after. ] I know what I'm asking for. If you don't want to because you don't feel that way, it's a different thing. But I need to hear it.
[ For some reason, it's difficult to imagine letting go of Akechi even after a blunt rejection. Not that he'd force himself on him—Akira just wants someone to be here with him at least tonight, even if they end up just sitting in silence. ]
I... love you. [ His heart is hammering in his chest and he squeezes Akechi's hand a bit harder. ] I'm not saying that lightly. I mean it, I really do. Now it's your turn.